Spark of Clarity Counselling

What to Do When You’ve Lost Yourself (and How to Gently Find Your Way Back)

Jul 18, 2025By Sanja K - SoCC

SK

There’s a moment many women face where they look in the mirror and think,
“I don’t even recognise myself anymore.”

It’s not dramatic. It’s quiet. Subtle. A slow drifting away from the things that once made you you—your voice, your joy, your sense of identity.
Maybe it happened after motherhood, a long relationship, caring for others, or chasing a career that never really fit.

And now, here you are—still showing up, still giving... but somewhere in the middle of it all, you disappeared.

Sad and worried woman side portrait at home in the dark looking outside the window. Worried and lonely female alone indoor. Concept of end of relationship and unsuccessful emotion. Lady touching face

How Do We Lose Ourselves?

It usually doesn’t happen overnight. It’s more like:

  • Putting your own needs last for years
  • Adapting to make others comfortable
  • Making choices out of fear, duty, or survival
  • Never feeling like there’s time to just be

You might notice it in small ways:

  • Not knowing what you enjoy anymore
  • Struggling to make decisions
  • Feeling emotionally numb or overly reactive
  • Looking at your life and wondering, “Whose life is this?”

Crying Mature Woman in Therapy Session

What If Finding Yourself Isn't About Starting Over?

Here’s the truth:
You’re not broken. You’re just buried.

Reconnecting with yourself isn’t about reinventing everything. It’s about slowing down long enough to hear your own voice again.

Try starting with:

  • Compassion: Talk to yourself like you would a dear friend.
  • Curiosity: Ask, “What do I miss about myself?”
  • Permission: Give yourself space to want more.

    It’s not about fixing yourself—it’s about remembering yourself.
Beautiful mature senior woman at home

Counselling as a Safe Mirror

Sometimes we need another voice—a calm, compassionate one—to reflect back what’s been lost. That’s what I do.

At Spark of Clarity Counselling, I create a safe space where you can explore who you are underneath the roles, the responsibilities, the survival mode. Together, we gently piece things back together—not to return to the old you, but to uncover the true you.

You don’t have to do it alone. You’ve always been in there. Let’s find her again.

👉 Book a Free Clarity Call – You’re worth rediscovering.

https://sparkofclaritycounselling.com/contact